I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
