I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
