My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
