Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
