why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
