she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
