I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
