Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
