Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
