I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
