she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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