Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
