dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
