Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
