i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
