fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
