I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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