He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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