singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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