Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
