Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
