I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
