with your own penis?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize