So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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