The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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