No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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