so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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