I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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