they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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