Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
