I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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