my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
