I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
