Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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