Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
