Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
