I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
