I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
