Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize