I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
is that a dick in a sweater?
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