eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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