matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
