Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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