Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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