so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
