So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
