you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
