we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
