I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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