hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He better not be in your backpack
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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